It’s the middle of the month, thus in-between one and half way to another. So I can’t help but think about my recent chat with the formidable Lyn Slater for The Ageist. If you’re not familiar, Slater had an amazing style blog called “Accidental Icon”, when blogs were in their earlier years and were setting the stage for a new age of “influence” in fashion. Her new book, “How to Be Old” is already a bestseller, and is a memoir of resilience everyone should read.
I love how she talks about these moments in life she refers to as the “what nowness”. You know exactly what she means, and boy, do I know too. That moment in time (that can feel like forever) when nothing is feeling quite right and you are waiting for whatever is next to embrace you, or of course, for you to embrace it because a lot of the time, you have to make it happen. Then again, sometimes it’s right in front of you and you may not even see it. I like to think of this period of waiting as not only the hardest point (thank you Tom Petty) but also a wacky waiting room where one is confronted with demons, shadows, insecurities, hopes, dreams, doubts, insomnia, more doubts, ideas, chills, going within, socializing, retreating, taking walks, taking baths, cutting one’s hair or coloring it…you get the picture.
Reading about Slater’s ability to take on the “what nowness” like a well-dressed MacGyver really spoke to me. Because I realize so much of my life has been spent there. And that’s really cuckoo.
When I became a professional writer, I was aware that my “wn” was over. I got to the top of the mountain and for a while, that’s where I would remain. Don’t get me wrong, the air is fine up here, but I often wonder what the view looks like from other vantage points. So here I go again…and just like that, the what nowness returns, a feeling I am not wholly uncomfortable with because its discomfort is so familiar.
Do I throw money at it as in coaches, solo trips, or any number of expensive remedies?
Do I seek spiritual guidance and get to the other side of it with a shamanic ritual or at the very least, psychic intervention?
Do I change my hair or eyeglasses in hopes of hastening some profound life change?
Or do I simply sit in it for a while and trust that as per usual, things will and are as they should be? Probably that guy. That’s the one.
Thing is, I also related to Slater’s thoughts around striving, though she discovered this later than I did, at 70. She said she was tired of the constant striving to be a better everything- from mom to grandmom to writer to you name it. I get that.
The striving is really not my favorite either. I’m far better at doing nothing, trust me. Maybe too good at it. But the endless finagling, hustling and bustling? Meh. I’d rather walk Gidget around the block ANY DAY. I think it’s all about the right things and the right people. Always has been just gets more obvious as we stop getting our periods. That’s a fact.
Ok enough of that. Let’s talk bags.
I find it hilarious that The Cut posted about the return of the Balenciaga City Bag, and if you were old enough in 2001 to remember this one, it was worn by everyone you know, except for me. Because I never cared for it. Not one bit. I think it’s an ugly bag and I guess with the return of indie sleaze, we get this unfortunate stinker of a bag. Even Kate Moss in a white faux fur won’t make me like it. Full stop.
Which made me think about bags in general and the fact that I’ve never been a real “it” bag kind of girl. Don’t get me wrong, I can admire a beautiful handbag and have drooled over a few in my time, like the LV Griet (weird I know) or the current tote of the moment from the Row (I’d do the suede), which is so spendy it’s stupid. But I have no idea who in their right mind would spend this kind of money on a bag. In more attainable realms, I like this Olend bag. It’s cool and you could beat the shit out of it and travel with it. That’s my kind of bag, and if I had to buy an “it” bag, I wouldn’t know where to turn. Although this one might take me places.
And I’ll admit that this Bottega bag, shown above, has been in my thoughts since I first saw it on the street a few weeks ago. It’s amazing, but ridiculously priced. But woah. I do like it a lot. That color gets me every time. Though I’d love it in black, too.
Hmm. What else is on my list right now?
These pants. Love ‘em.
My friend Christine has a great Substack you should be reading if you aren’t and she wrote about skirts the other day, and then I started seeing white full skirts everywhere, so my personal skirt alert is that long white full skirts (this is Jenny Walton back in 2018) are the skirt of the summer. This one’s good. This one too. And this.Go git.
David and I went to the Queens Night Market and even though it was freezing, the eats were fire. Amidst a bevy of international delights, the Moon Man sweets were my favorites. This coconut pancake thing was my jam. Like a toasted marshmallow meets sticky rice. To die.
Also yesterday we had a lovely morning walkabout (there’s Gidget at an impromptu street fair in my neighborhood at the top of the post), and ended up in downtown Brooklyn, where I spotted these kicks at Foot Locker. I love a good Foot Locker visit to see what’s in store on the sneaker front, and although my size was out, I went home and ordered these Gazelles straight away with a credit I had. Score. They are such a good shape. I love the platform but they don’t look too clunky and will look cool with a dress or with cropped flares. Plus, pink and green. My two love colors.
And finally, I live in summer sack dresses when it’s warm. I found a new fav brand from Cali called April Meets October whose silhouettes are airy and generous just how I love for those easy breezy schvitzy days ahead. I linked to the dress above, and I know it has that “i’m in a cult” vibe but ok. I like it. And if that’s not your vibe, Black Crane is always on point. I’m loving the lemon yellow hue they’ve used this season. Refreshing.
Ooh, and if you need a new show, go for The Gentlemen on Netflix. I’m a sucker for Guy Ritchie’s slick Anglophilia with a Saville Row chaser. So good.
Hmm what else? Think that just about does it, peeps. Hope you’re comfortable and keeping it loose wherever you may find yourself, whether contemplating what now, or settling into what’s next, or just being very present, which was my happy place this weekend as I strolled through my happy little neck of the Brooklyn and enjoyed the first real whiff of Spring while the Zumba class went on in the park as kids danced to a singing cowboy, an impromptu street fair street faired, and all of us soaked in some much needed Vitamin D. Because as long as we’re not living in the past, we’re all doing pretty ok, right? XO
The "what next" question looms large. While some might think it a fun relief of nothing to do, I think it a scary void, resembling a "Waiting for Godot" moment. I like the sneakers too hmmmmm.