Inevitable year end post.

Let's make it special.

Hello, it’s me.

It’s that time of year when our robot brains (did you hear they’re taking over? Apparently, they’re good copywriters) are hard-wired to clean up, take stock, and set sail for a new year, and yes, a new '“you.” To this, I say, “sure.”

I’ve never been one for forced resolutions because don’t tell me what to do.

This year has been a complete mofo. The loss of my soul dog is still very fresh and extraordinarily deep. Part of me wants to move on and put this year. Behind me, but part of me doesn’t because I’m not ready to not sit in this grief. I think about moving apartments and neighborhoods for a new start, but then I also fear doing that because living here in leafy Carroll Gardens makes me feel so close to him. As a rational HB, I know that time doesn’t stop and the seasons will change, but as an emotional one, I also feel incredibly present and, of course, reminiscing. But what of the future? I’m not sure there are enough duvets to hide beneath.

I feel this way because, like many of you, I’m overloaded. Between project management tools, video conferencing tools, and death by a thousand Google comments, it’s a lot of tools. Add in my thoughts around my 2023 creative offer, and this robot is short-circuiting. Podcasts. Tik toks. Mastodons. Reels. Oh my. And speaking of the ‘tok, I don’t know what to make of it because it seems like a steaming dumpster fire of nothing there. I know there’s some sort of “vibe shift” toward authenticity, but what I miss amidst all the manic musings, ASMR, and dancing is this notion of something special. I miss special, don’t you?

Special is thoughtful. Beautiful. Warm and fuzzy. Special is a gift wrapped just for you. Special is how my eye doctor took ten minutes post-exam to chat with me the other morning just to catch up. With my former (admittedly idealistic) trend forecaster hat on, I feel that others may be missing that “special” feeling too. So, I will try to be more thoughtful and vocal in telling the people in my life how much they mean to me. Here are some other ways to embody that special sauce in the near future:

1. Support bricks and mortar retail. This holiday I didn’t have a ton of gifts to buy, but I enjoyed checking out the city's stores. H&M did a fabulous pop-up in Williamsburg, and new stores like the minimalist outdoorsy Snow Peak felt fresh and cool. I also love local favorites in my neighborhood like Woods and Grove, who have gifts for everyone on your list that feel very special. I know it’s so easy and cheap to shop online, but the experience truly sucks. I predict a small retail renaissance as a response to non-stop scrolling.

2. Be kind. It goes without saying. Bad shit is happening, and people are in so much pain. Be nice. The world needs kindness and love, and there is no other way. From making time for friends and family to volunteering to just being a loving person, let’s turn this crisis of unkindness around.

3. Be true. Creating content is a source of joy, and I’m at a bit of a crossroads with all this talk of authenticity. Because making Tik Tok videos does not feel true to my character or desire, but a podcast or an in-person experience does. I want to be authentic, but that’s not sharing every second of my life. And who would want that, anyway? I want to work on my notorious camera-shy nature, but I want to create in comfort.

4. Say no. This one’s a toughie because we are all programmed to SAY YES!!!! Yes, to the gold boots you saw on Instagram. Yes, to another grueling workout when. Your body is saying no way. Yes, to every gig because you manifest abundance, and with endless hustling, you can buy the gold boots on Instagram. I know that saying no is associated with being negative and shut down, but I see it differently. As an unapologetic woman of the world, I seek discernment. Space. And rest when I need rest. What’s negative about that? Nada.

5. Make space. I mentioned space in the last paragraph, but it’s key to that special sentiment. Making space while living in this extraordinary city is hard. I’m craving openness, vast room to play and dream, and room to breathe. We’ll see how this one comes to life, but it’s coming for me. And no, that doesn’t mean leaving NYC. It just means looking at how we live here or thinking about a new place close by that feels more spacious.

As I get older and close out another year, I realize this gift of life is fragile, magnificent, and inspiring. I no longer wish to get sucked into the undertow of endless social media feeds (don’t even get me started on LinkedIn) or things that don’t feel special to me. Many times this year, I fantasized about taking a vow of silence. There is so “much” out there, and cutting through all this “authenticity” in favor of something special has never felt more important. Case in point— I will never forget the way a salesperson wrapped some handmade marshmallows for me in Tokyo years ago, but that Tik Tok video on such and such trend ten minutes ago? I have no idea. All of this ephemera feels like whip its (IYKYK) gone wild, and I’ll never get that time back. We may not know much amidst so much uncertainty, but we know time is fleeting, so why not make it count and make it so very special?

Speaking of special, I’ll lighten up with a lipstick recco. I discovered Gucci’s “They Met in Argentina” in person during holiday window peeping last week on Fifth Avenue. It is the perfect matte English rose, and I love it. It’s soft, subtle, and the perfect hue for something new. But makeup aside, I wanted to thank all of you for supporting me, subscribing, and cheering me on as I retool. You all know how to make a girl feel special, and you are all so special to me. I’ll be back after the new year, and wishing you all the best. Be kind to yourselves and each other. XO