Greetings, May. I’ve read that the Spring can be challenging for many, and I’ll admit, I’m barely staying afloat, though the above Hockney is helpful as a reminder that there is beauty in all feelings, floaty and otherwise.
Anyway, I saw a funny meme on Instagram that stated quite simply:
“My flabbers be gasted daily.”
And that about sums it up.
I’m a Jewish woman—not a religious one, but a traditional and proud one. To say that this has been a confusing, sad, and scary time would be an understatement. I don’t talk much about politics in this space, as this is a place for general tips and style and midlife and unapologetic good vibes, for the most part. But I’m sad and scared, and you all know why. It seems that truth is no longer a bedrock concept, and it has been versioned, sliced, and diced according to your algo. What a world.
Next, against this general backdrop, I’m working on my “what now” thanks to Lyn Slater and that much-needed kick in my ass to think about how to keep evolving and growing.
Regardless of your age or stage, we all face a great deal of uncertainty in the world, in our work, and in our daily lives. In many ways, life has never felt more topsy-turvy. So here are a few things I’m craving. I’m realizing it’s not about sweeping change but getting back in touch with those things that feel critical to a healthy life.
The first is control.
I know this word has negative connotations, e.g., control freak, but that’s not how I think. Having control over my life is essential, which means having agency over my time, how I spend it, and who I spend it with. As I get older, this feels as critical as breathing. Indeed, there are so many things out of our control, so for me, taking hold of those things I can is important.
Second, clarity. I can’t be the only one feeling fuzzy and foggy, and it’s not just the ‘pause. Everything is blurry and weird, and I am ISO a clear path. I know there are no guarantees in life, but I want and need clarity. When I feel clear, there is no stopping me. I think I am overstimulated and need a social media respite. Does anyone have a cave they’d like to rent me for the Summer?
Third, connection. (PS, these are not in order. )
At a time when the world is asunder, this one’s a biggie. We all know loneliness is a huge mental health issue right now, and isolation is a killer. I don’t necessarily mean connection in that way, but I do mean FEELING connected to what I’m doing, my community, and the people in my life. The best part of my day is walking Gidget through my lovely neighborhood and interacting with my neighbors and their pups. I feel such a strong bond with people I barely know, but to connect with other humans on a fundamental level is healing and affirming that not everyone sucks. I also find connecting to my body (lately, it’s pilates) is better than therapy, but that’s just me. It’s deeper, of course, but I know that for me, feeling plugged in and switched on is probably my most important non-negotiable in life. I’m curious to see what yours are.
I tend to withdraw when I’m feeling overwhelmed (I’m a Cancer, so I go right into my Crab shell), so I’m going to fight against that inclination. One evening, I realized how fortunate I am to live the life that I do in the city that I do and that even contemplating change and growth is a privilege. Sometimes, a girl just needs a martini with a lovely friend to break out of the ick. Cheers to that.
Now, on to some happy things. Like color.
My relationship with wearing color is complicated. I return to black almost always. It works on me, suits me, flatters me, is classic and sexy and cool, is New York, and is chic. It always works—until you need something to lift your mood, switch your tempo, or not be so grim reaper-like. When I do wear color, I absolutely feel a shift in my energy. On that note, I give you a few suggestions.
Overall, designer Caron Callahan, whose studio is around the corner here in Brooklyn, is doing such beautiful things with color. I’m in love with her looks of late, particularly this brown skirted suit. I adore brown in the summertime, and this suit with a flat or block-heeled sandal is just the end.
And though Barbie has many of us never wanting to see, let alone wear, pink again, this pink poplin shirtdress and deep crimson pant combo feels unexpected and anything but Barbie and reminds me of a Renaissance painting. I adore it and want to wear it to visit friends in Rome and drink Negronis all day.
I wouldn’t kick this kicky little shirtdress out of bed, either. Does it have a grown-up candy striper vibe? Sure. Is that why I love it? No. I love it because it’s super easy and looks like it would not make me sweat. Dresses for summer are very much for me. Bonus for stripes that are subtle and vertical. Yes, please.
So now that we’re talking color, how’s about:
Something yellow. Like this nail polish. How gorgeous with a tan? I’m feeling pastels for the first time in a very long time.
Something blue. Like these Cerulean ballets. So pretty.
Something green. Minty green. Like this slivery dress for Midsummer soirees. (PS- like it or not, boho is back, bae). I love this color so much.
Something lilac. This easy, breezy suit is excellent for going places, like from the desk to dinner, and it pairs well with a pretty silver sandal.
Something leopard. Nobody does leopard better than Ganni. I love this bucket hat for the beach. And indeed, these Gucci sandals got me. They got me good.
Listen, these are challenging times. I find myself exhausted, disappointed, disenchanted, freaked out, and worried. There is no guide for how weird it’s all gotten. So we all need to find our way with our own tools we use for healthy coping and survival.
Maybe it’s just about accepting this time and this place for what it is—and knowing that this too shall pass, inevitably. There will be extra naps. Extra tissues. Extra hugs. I don’t know what else. But honestly, these are strange days. I’m also hoping for additional patience, kindness, and compassion and that we can all have a little empathy for each other as we all muddle through and meet each other exactly where we are. With love. And kindness. And a little leopard print Gucci wouldn’t hurt, either. XO
I'm in serious high anxiety (Jewish woman, cultural not religious) and you have just hit my happy spot with colorful clothing.
You are my brain twin. I'm still on Covid tilt or did it jus WAKE US UP to look for a new anchor tenants? It's a search under old rubble.